Where Were You When My Husband Was Abusive?
This isn’t just about me, it’s about all of us
“Good riddance”
You’re better off. He’s an asshole”
“I’m so glad you got out”
When you finally summon the courage to leave an abusive marriage, these are the kinds of things some people tell you. Talk about too little, too late. Where were you when I was being tackled, slapped, and shoved into walls?
To be fair, I told no one while it was happening. This is common. Too common to write about because many voices already have. But people suspected.
People are afraid, all the time, of all sorts of things, but especially of violence, even when it’s not happening to them. They’re afraid to speak up, afraid to help, afraid the violence might be directed at them. I get it.
But people who aren’t afraid and say nothing? Do nothing? Refuse to get involved or help? I don’t get it. I’m not talking about strangers. I’m talking about family, and friends, and coworkers.
3 women don’t die every day in this country just because their partners kill them. Sometimes, people who could have helped, don’t. Every 9 seconds a woman is beaten in this country and someone probably looks the other way. The stress of unplanned pregnancies will…
